stasis

The change today is that I have a lousy cold.  I'm gearing up to head out to class, but only after spending most of the day planted on the couch, sniffling and napping.  I did pound out another 50 pages or so of Infinite Jest, so that is progress of some sort.  The worst part of having this particular cold is that it kept me away from the hospital to see G yesterday and today.  I heard from her parents over the weekend that the doctors removed the trach and it has made it much easier for her to talk to people, but I'm stuck here at home until I'm healthy enough to visit her and see for myself.  Hopefully I'll have kicked it by tomorrow.  I think (hope) today is the worst of it.

why did I sign up for this?

Today was a rough day and there is pretty much nothing that I want to talk about at the moment.  I'm hoping for a good night's sleep tonight and a different perspective tomorrow.

more of a thunk than a crunch

Oops.  I hit a woman's car today.  I was pulling out from a parking space near my friend's house (the homeowner whose house I was in front of had sort of parked me in with his trash and recycling cans, so I had to pull forward then reverse then I was pulling forward again and forgot to check for a car on the very quiet, usually empty street).  My left bumper hit (luckily) mainly on the wheel well of her back right side.  My bumper looks worse than her car did, but we think it is all superficial.  Hopefully she won't have any damage to be fixed.  It appeared all the marks on her car would rub off.  Fingers crossed.  I really don't want to be paying to have cars fixed right about now.

tell me how you REALLY feel

Something happened tonight that upset me and I feel like I should ask my dear internet friends for guidance.  As I may have mentioned here, I've been looking forward for a couple of quarters to taking Drawing For Communication.  Everyone who has taken it already has raved about the class and I feel like it should help me out with communicating my design ideas, as well as make me a better artist.  So Thursday evenings this quarter I'll be working out my right brain.

Our first assignment was not a drawing assignment at all.  Our teacher has been really emphasizing how important proper presentation of our projects is and so he wanted us to create a name card, made with foam core backing and magnets attached to the back, to be used in class every week to designate our project space.  I was pretty excited about creating the name card and I spent quite a bit of time this week coming up with something that I liked.  Last week the teacher showed us his name card and mentioned when he was describing the project incorporation of initials in the design.  I misunderstood this to mean that initials were to be included in our name cards, so despite the fact that I'm not really an "initials" sort of a person (well, except when nfl fan friends of mine insist on calling me LT) I included my initials on my card.  Other than the inclusion of my initials and generally the size of the name card (he gave us size parameters to work within, but my shape was similar to his), I think that my card was quite different from the teacher's card -- completely different color palette (I did a gradient blue/green background with a white radial flare and white lettering; his colors were flat, primary red, yellow and black), different arrangement and alignment of the elements, different font choices.  So, you can probably see where I'm heading here...

When we got to class we put our name cards up on the board.  He didn't make any comments at the time, but during class at some point he said something about my card being similar to his and was it intentional.  I said no (and was inwardly surprised at the question, but thought it must have to do with the inclusion of my initials -- which I wouldn't have done if I didn't think (wrongly I found out) that it was part of the assignment).  Later he made a point, in the middle of class, while critiquing my drawings made in class, of saying that he thought I should redo my card and then spent over a minute accusing me of just ripping off his idea and copying it.  Oh, but it is my choice if I want to redo it or not.  But I really should redo it. (I'm not exaggerating to say that people actually *gasped* while he was talking to me.)

I was mortified and deflated.  I felt sort of stupid for having been so excited for this class and appalled that he would call me out like that in the middle of class.  I kept my composure, but it really hurt.  So now I'm trying to figure out what to do.  This is where you come in.

One thing that I won't do is drop the class.  In any event it is a mandatory design program class and he's the only person who teaches it.  And dropping it would be cowardly and against my best interest.  One thing that I feel like I must do is somehow regain my joy about being in the class.  One thing about creative endeavors is that they are best done with joy and enthusiasm.  I don't think it works to half-heartedly learn to draw or to enter the space of learning harboring resentment or anger at the person who holds the keys to my success.

The questions that I don't have answers to yet (though I have leanings), and frankly the hurt is pretty fresh still, are:

1.  Do I say something to him?  My only rebuttal to him during class was that I understood the initials to be part of the assignment, but that they aren't really me and I'd be fine with removing them.  My feeling right now is that I should send him an e-mail that is not accusatory but that conveys that the way he treated me in class was not acceptable and that I do not feel in any way like I copied him.  Obviously I would need a little time to process and be less raw before composing this e-mail.  Knowing myself, I know that it will be easier to put this behind me if I have an opportunity to express myself.  Otherwise I tend to stew and let my anger fester (not my finest qualities).

2.  Do I change my name card and if so how much?  I really don't care about removing the initials, but lord knows if that would be enough for him or not.  Should I scrap the design and start over?  I really like my design, but now it feels tainted.  Other people in class also told me that they liked it and it did not remind them of his at all, but I guess that's a hollow victory at this point.

3.  Do I just need to toughen up already?  I've sort of prided myself on being not overly emotionally attached to my designs since starting this process.  I am working to become a commercial designer after all, and much like the law there will be clients to cater to and people whose opinions necessarily will drive the design process.  Should I try to treat his words as though they are coming from a client and just figure out a way to let them roll off my back without ever letting him know my point of view?

Please let me know what you think.  Unless you think I'm a miserable sniveling copycat who stole my teacher's design aesthetic. Well, you can tell me that too, but I'm warning you that it might make me cry.

photographs and memories

I'm still here.  Actually, more accurately, I haven't moved yet.  We've been planning this move for about 2 months now and at this point I'm just ready for it to be over already.  Next Wednesday is our big move date.  We've been able to do some small stuff, like setting up the new bathroom, but the state of our current apartment is not pretty.  Not pretty at all.  We've more or less abandoned cleaning and we have packed and half-packed boxes, bags of clothes for the women's shelter and random paperwork strewn all over the place.  My two largest remaining moving projects are to go through all my old saved paperwork and mementos.  Because we are moving to a loft-style apartment, we have a storage space across the street from the new place, which will be holding all the stuff we don't want to have on display.  Organization pre-move is pretty key.

So anyway, that is what I've been up to.  No real point to this post other than to say hi.  Hi!

along came a spider and sat down beside her

For the last year or so I've had recurring nightmares about spiders. Now, I'm not really much of a dream analyzer and up to this point my 30-something years on the planet have been more or less* nightmare-free. My spider nightmares are varied but usually involve the general theme that I try to kill a spider** and either it turns into hundreds of spiders or it grows into a giant spider and attacks me. Freaky, right?

So anyway, much to my dismay last week one night, while I was watching some reality tv programming or something equally scintillating, out of the corner of my eye, I saw something run across my arm. When I glanced down, it appeared to be a spider or insect (I really feared spider), but it scurried away so quickly (and I was, of course, momentarily paralyzed with fear) that I didn't see what exactly it was. It was light brown, dime-sized and it had many legs. Once I regained the use of my arms and legs, I ran upstairs and took off all the clothing I was wearing to inspect each piece carefully, then I felt my hair and skin compulsively to make sure it wasn't still on me somewhere. Because I am a calm and rational person (Mike informed me during this freak-out process that I had screamed from downstairs; I was not aware that any noise escaped during The Trauma).

Fast forward to Saturday morning. I spent a couple of hours at my hair salon being pampered and colored and (hair)cut. My hairstylist gives the best head massages. Seriously swoon-worthy. After the hair appointment, I was walking to my car and when I pulled out my wallet to pay the parking attendant, I saw a light brown spider in my purse! Again, racked with fear, I froze and the spider hurried under the amalgamation of junk that I carry around in my purse. Crimey! My hairdresser walked out while I stood there peering into my purse, deciding what to do. He asked if I forgot something in the salon and I was forced to admit that I was looking for a spider in my purse. He wanted me to name it and make it a pet. Uh, no.

So what DID I do? Well, I got into my car with my new spider friend hanging out somewhere in my bag. Throwing the entire purse away seemed rather too extreme. That would be letting the spider win! But there was no way I ever wanted to blindly reach my hand in there again. I had enough time to consider whether it wouldn't be a good idea to just free the spider in the great out-of-doors as opposed to squishing him like the bug that he/she is(n't). In the end, I just lacked the requisite composure to free the spider. Sorry, Charlotte. So got to a nice open air spider-ridding venue and gingerly started picking items out of my purse one-by-one, inspecting them for Spider!, and placing them on the bench. Eventually I found the spider hanging out towards the bottom of the bag. It took me three attempts (with kleenex) to kill the spider, who turned out to be remarkably spry, but eventually the task was completed and I was able to continue my day feeling relatively free*** of all things creepy and crawly.

By the way, no one is more upset than I am about how girlie and shrieky I come off in The Great 2008 Spider Encounter epic story. I'm just glad it didn't spawn any additional spider nightmares as of yet. Maybe I've conquered the spiders of my dreams??? If so, pretty darned anti-climactic ending.




*Unless I've just watched The Shining by myself or taken some other equally reckless action.
**My general live-and-let-live attitude does not always extend to spiders and/or insects. They freak me out a bit with their exoskeletons and their many legs and their propensity for biting and/or stinging humans. I admit it.
***A large beetle was discovered trying to crawl into my friend's purse that very same day at lunch, but his attempts were properly thwarted.

feeding frenzy

I know I'm already on record here and here regarding the utter crap that is now our 24/7/365 media machine, but just in case anyone was wondering, I find this preposterous:

Really?? The most important story in the entire world today has as its main source the MySpace page of a 22-year-old call girl? Wow.

we were just wasting time

I have a lot of things on my To Do list. Sigh. You don't care. I know that you don't care. But it is March, and I am all about the lists for approximately 25 more days. So without further ado, here are some of the things I should be doing right about now:

• Drafting closing documents for a deal that is closing next week. Officer's Certificates, Notice of Borrowing, Security Documents, Power of Attorney. It is almost as fun as it sounds. Can you believe I want to leave all this glamour behind??
• Cleaning out my closet. I've been procrastinating this one for a few months now. Time to get rid of the clothes I don't wear and organize the ones I do.
• Dry cleaners. I have so many out-of-rotation clothes waiting to be cleaned right now. What is wrong with me? This is an easy one, right?
• Taxes. Ugh.
• Optometrist appointment. I get one free pair of glasses per year under my vision plan and I like to get new prescription sunglasses so at least I can see clearly when it is sunny out. I don't ever wear my non-sunglass glasses. Clearly my eyesight is not that bad. Anyway, I didn't make it in last year at all. It is March.
• Learning as much as I can about Illustrator, Photoshop, Dreamweaver, CSS. I have books and the programs I need are being loaded up on the new Mac Book as we speak.

I guess that is all for now. There is a very good chance that I will not accomplish any of these things tonight. Yay apathy!

welcome to my ocd

I've been fairly lucky, periodontally speaking. I had very few cavities as a child, never had braces, never had impacted wisdom teeth, and never even had Novocaine until after I was of legal drinking age. Everything sort of worked as expected in my mouth. As a result, I am a huge baby when it comes to dental work. I do not do well when I'm in The Chair. And so, like many dentist-fearing Americans, I don't go to the dentist unless it simply cannot be avoided.

I did not make a resolution to spend more of 2008 sitting in a dentist's chair, but an event that occurred on New Year's Eve sealed my fate - I broke a tooth (really, just a chip) on a piece of pizza (I still have no idea how a person can break a tooth on a piece of pizza).

So on January 2, 2008 I had a trip to my neighborhood dentist. She told me some bad news involving cavities in several teeth and decay under a back molar that was rebuilt through the miracle of bonding a few years back*. As a result, I'll be spending more time at the dentist in 2008. I'm thrilled.

Yesterday I went for visit one of two. During this visit, they numbed the right side of my face then poked, prodded, drilled and scraped. They removed the expertly crafted bonding that was holding my back molar together and took a mold for creation of my very own partial crown, which will be installed in ten days.

Until I receive my partial crown, I will be walking around with a temporary cover on the drilled down remnants of my tooth. This temporary cover is meant to be tooth-shaped, but the material that was used has flattened down so it sits in my mouth a bit like a piece of old chewing gum pushed into the cavity where a tooth should be. I find this impossible to ignore. I'm fixated with pushing my tongue into the crevice where my tooth should be. I have no idea how I will make it through the next ten days with my sanity (and the temporary cover) intact.

On the plus side, my obsessive fixation on that (lack of) tooth will hopefully make it unlikely that I forget that I'm not allowed to eat anything chewy (or chew gum) or generally bite or chew food on the right side of my mouth while I'm waiting. Thank you, OCD.

Oh, and I completely realize what a wimpy von wimperstein I'm being about the whole thing. Alas I am unable to do anything about this particular character flaw at the moment. Maybe in eleven days I'll work on that.



*I broke that tooth on a kernal from a bag of vending machine popcorn (the pre-popped stuff that comes sprinkled with "white cheddar cheese" (cheese-stuff product?)). I can understand how that could happen at least. I have not had vending machine popcorn since. I will not be forsaking all pizza going forward, however.

rage against the machine(s)

Does anyone else think that we might be getting angrier and angrier as, like, a society? I am the first to admit that I've been known to get really mad at other drivers while sitting in traffic. And why not? People are more often concentrating more on their phone call or their children than on the road. We've started multi-tasking during tasks that really should warrant our complete attention. Such as hurtling down the street in a giant, gasoline-filled deathbox. Complete attention seems like a good idea, right?

Anyway. As part of my ongoing effort to be happier and to add zen to my life, I've made serious efforts to stop raging at other drivers. Live and let live. Practice diligence for both me and the other person who should be watching the road, so we don't end up colliding at some point (I really don't want to test out how well my airbags work).

Another sore spot for many is parking. I'll go ahead and admit that I drive a compact car and I've been known to curse SUV drivers who park in compact spaces, or generally cars that take up more than one parking space in tight Los Angeles parking lots. So it was with amusement that I read Kristy's post last week about a rude SUV driver (with the requisite Support Our Troops sticker) who took up two parking spaces. I'm totally on board with her posting the snapped picture and talking about how rude this person was on her blog. What surprised me though was the comments to Kristy's post. Sure, I know the internet gets all kinds of nutcases posting about crazy stuff, but really folks. People advocating keying cars of parking offenders or slashing tires. Let's take a moment for some perspective.

On the other hand, I am all for pointing out the horrible parking job to the offender, whether in person or by putting a note on the windshield. (I even included my story of confronting a rude-parker in person in her comments before they started getting a bit out of hand.) Let's just think a bit about scale of the wrong and why escalation is not good for anyone involved. Give [vehicular] peace a chance, man.

You Give Law... A Bad Name

I've been in work-deal-hell, which is prone to happen at the end of a fiscal quarter, so no time to blog recently, but I had an interaction today that I just HAD to share with someone and, hey, you're (yes, you out there) someone! So here goes...

Every profession has its own sort of assholes, I'm sure, but the law has a particular brand of asshole that always astonishes me when a come across one. The My-Law-Degree-Makes-Me-More-Important-Than-Others* brand of asshole.

So I'm working on a deal that involves real property in states where my firm is not located (think states starting with an "A" in the deep south and southern midwest). Our client is going to be hiring local counsel in those states and the local counsel will prepare the deeds of trust/mortgages, etc. We are preparing the loan documents and will coordinate with local counsel on real estate matters. Because we really have a limited role on the R.E. side of things, we have a real estate paralegal who will be handling review of title commitments, surveys, etc.

I called the real estate person from the Borrower - Mr. In-House-Real-Estate-Counsel-Comma-Esquire - to introduce him to our paralegal and to get the title review and survey process underway. In my voicemail message, I gave Mr. IHRECCE (damn, I should have made the initials spell out something funny) the paralegal's contact information. Shortly thereafter, I received a call back. Mr. IHRECCE was calling to complain that I gave him the name of a paralegal contact. I quote (an excerpt): "I'm going to have high-level comments to mortgages and I want to talk to the person with control over the document, not some paralegal." 15 minutes of him telling me why our decision to have a paralegal review the title work and coordinate the real estate aspects of the transaction was going to inconvenience him personally and make the process so much harder to manage. Now, mind you, we aren't preparing the mortgages - those will be done by local counsel and he'll be passing comments to them on to local counsel, probably with a finance attorney in our office (me or the partner) in the loop.

And through his complaining and whining, it was all I could do not to laugh. See? I'm not invested in my job. The fact that someone can get this bent out of shape about being asked to deal with a (highly competent, experienced) non-lawyer in a transaction. It's, well, comical.** Who's with me here?

And, by the way, I basically told him to suck it.*** And to call our paralegal if he has any questions about my instructions.

Best Regards,
Leila, Esq.



*(Which includes the subset My-Status-As-A-Partner-Makes-Me-More-Knowledgeable-Than-You brand of asshole. This is the law firm partner who is working with an associate on a deal, but insists on calling the partner "nominally" on the deal instead of the associate who is contacting him (yes, it is always a him) because he doesn't want to "waste his precious time" talking to an associate. More here.)

**Of course, if I had to deal with this assjack every day, I'm sure a point would come (quickly!) when it stopped being so amusing. There was a similar character at my old firm. What a pill.

***But I said it in a nice way. And that's what counts.

One Nation Controlled by the Media, Redux

Thanks go out to Ty for alerting me to this blog, which includes text of a speech by Ashleigh Banfield about our television media and the way it both plays into and shapes the consumers' appetite for news coverage. That speech got her demoted and eventually fired as a MSNBC correspondent. When will our serious journalists stand up and try to change the system? When will consumers wake up and demand more than mediocrity and the race to the bottom from our mainstream news sources?

I don't know Ms. Banfield, but she is my current hero.

One Nation Controlled by the Media.

I'm angry. Really angry. So angry that I am not sure whether I should blog about this right now or wait until I cool down some. It is unbelievable to me that the mainstream media in this country has a non-stop loop of a psychopathic killer's "manifesto" and pictures and writings polluting the airwaves. What have we come to? Seriously.

Who will have the courage and the position to stop this madness? If the news networks and websites completely lack the ability to self-edit and the introspection to understand why their coverage of the Virginia Tech murders is fundamentally flawed, how will we ever stop the race to the bottom that our media has become?

It is not okay to publish the works of a psychopath who ruthlessly killed dozens of people. It is not "news" it is evidence, to be used by the people investigating this heinous crime.

It is not okay to plaster photos of him holding guns, photos that he sent to you because he wanted them widely disseminated, at the top of your webpages, followed by links to his videos and stories about his life, all the while asking for stories about the victims so you can run them in a single link that friends and family members would have to click through from the equivalent of the Murderer's Home Page.

Why would you be so crass as to think that anyone who knew the victims would be able to tolerate wading through the front page dominated by pictures and stories about that asshole to get to the tribute page that you have set up? Are you really this clueless or do you just not care?

So, yes, cnn.com, msnbc.com, cbs, nbc, abc, cnn, msnbc, we are on a break. Don't contact me and I won't contact you. You make me sick.

Fond Farewell

My old firm is dying today. I spent almost 8 years working there (from wide-eyed days as a first year associate all the way up to jaded senior associate status) and I have warm feelings for the people who worked there and for the culture that they created there. The firm made a pretty big mistake taking on a tax partner in Chicago who was giving out questionable opinions. And it paid the ultimate price for that decision.

I guess what is interesting to me about the situation is that my old firm was not some renegade actor, doing anything out-of-line from industry practice. Some other firms that you may have heard of, such as Sidley Austin and Shearman & Sterling, were issuing pretty much the same opinions at the same time. And making a lot of money off of them. In my opinion, there were two things that brought my firm down and left the other players in that market standing strong: (i) the Chicago partner was a bit of a bad actor, in the eyes of the IRS, and I think they picked his firm out because they liked the idea of sticking it to him (he made an unbelievable amount of money off these tax opinions and, according to some, he was a bit of a market leader in the area) and (ii) the firm was not Big Enough to withstand the press hit and the eventual hit to the pocketbook. Yes, size matters.

So lawyers fled. Including me. And including many of the heavy hitters who were recent additions to the firm (no, sadly (or not), I am not a heavy hitter) and who had no qualms about shopping themselves around (after collecting the boom year bonuses that resulted from the tax practice opinions, of course).

A lot of people have looked on with glee as one of the big name firms in Dallas collapsed. These people include former employees who felt wronged when the firm had layoffs (as all the big firms did in 2002-03) and former competitors of the firm in its heyday who are happy to lose the competition. I just feel sad for the loss. The loss of the excitement we all once had when the firm was trying to become a national player and the loss of the reputation of a firm full of good, smart lawyers.

I wish my former co-workers luck and success wherever they end up. I'm sure working at the firm for the last year or so has been no walk in the park.


[Note: I intentionally did not use the name of the firm in this blog because I don't particularly want to pop up in google searches of the subject. Just in case you were wondering.]

At the Top of the List of Things I Should Not Feel Bad About

I have an ex-husband who is... how can I put this delicately... a bit of a loser. When I was married to him, I was always the responsible one. I did my best, even when I wasn't working because I was in law school, to keep us out of the poor house because he really could not manage money.

When I graduated from law school and got my first law firm job, he decided to become a pilot. That was his life-long dream and he got himself completely off-track by being stupid and irresponsible at a young age. So he decided to take flying lessons. The only problem was how to pay for them. At the time that he decided all this, our marriage was breaking up. And against my better judgment, I agreed to guarantee his loans (they were sort of like private student loans). He, of course, assured me that they would be his responsibility, etc. By the time we got divorced, he was done with this commercial pilot's license and was heading out to find some sort of flight instructor job. His loans became his separate debt as part of our divorce order. But stupid trusting me, I didn't require him to refinance.

We kept in touch for a while and things were going well for him. He was running a couple of branches of a national flight school chain (he had extensive managerial experience and he thought he was on the path to buying out the owners of some of these schools). Then we sort of fell out of touch. I moved to LA and I didn't hear anything from him for a while.

About a year and a half ago I was contacted by the bank that was holding his loans. Long story short, he defaulted and they decided to go after me because I'm the easier person to collect from. Six long months later, after endless (and fruitless) arguing with the bank over the fact that they were putting negative credit information on MY credit report even though I didn't default and they didn't contact me prior to screwing up my credit, I paid off his loans.

During the time that I was dealing with his bank, I contacted Chris and he told me his sob story about things not working out with the flight schools and him being out of work. He was not bright enough (that sounds mean, but it is true) to understand that by just stopping paying he was affecting my credit too. He thought that since it was his debt under the divorce decree that would somehow remove the obligation from my credit. And he told me how sorry he was and how he'd try to come up with the money, but he never did.

Then his phone was cut off and I was no longer able to contact him. And he would never reply to any e-mails that I sent to him at the e-mail address he gave me.

So about 3 months ago, after telling him by e-mail that I was going to do so, I sued him (technically we filed a motion to enforce the divorce decree). That means I had to hire a lawyer in Dallas and have someone track him down to serve him (piling on even more expenses). Chris has been hiding from his creditors, so it took the process server about 2 months to track him down and serve him. Finally last weekend they tracked him to his parents' house and served him there.

I should be relieved that they finally found him and served him, yet for some reason all I can feel is bad. I never thought I would have to sue this person who used to be my best friend in the whole world. And I'm sure that he was sticking his head in the sand, assuming that if he just ignored me, this would all go away. He's not a bad person (I don't think) just miserably, horribly irresponsible.

I know that I'm doing the right thing. So why does it feel so wrong?

Generation Gap

There is a pretty good article on this month's California Lawyer magazine about why women continue to leave large law firms even though there is gender equality in law schools these days. Unfortunately it is not free online or I would link to it.

While I agree that there is a gender gap and it is unlikely to go away any time soon, I think there is a bigger issue here and that law firms better start taking note sometime soon. I think that the generation gap between the work ethic of baby boomers and that of gen x'ers (and even more so gen y'ers) is going to require firms to step back from the Just Keep Upping The Billable Hours And Throw A Bonus At The Associates business model that has been in place for at least the last decade. When I started practicing in Dallas in 1997 the norm for hours requirements in big firms there was 1800, with several firms still around 1700. The partners changed that dramatically with the "Brobeck raises" in the late 1990's, and they've been trying to gradually increase hours ever since.

My hours requirement is now 2100 (100 of which may be creditable but non-billable hours). I have decided, reasonably I think, that I don't want to spend the rest of my life with pressure to make billable hours hanging over my head. Any vacation I take, I'm thinking about how I'll make up the hours. If I'm sick, I have to worry about making up the hours. Doctor's appointment? Gotta make up those hours.

To exacerbate the issue, law firms are hiring their efficiency consultants, who tell them that in order to maximize hours billed, they should hound their attorneys to always enter at least 8 hours a day. In theory, maybe a good idea, but in practice, absolutely horrible. The last thing that a transactional attorney who has been putting in 14 hour days for a couple of weeks on a big closing wants to hear is that the firm has "unaccounted hours" for them because the day after the closing they didn't enter some (fictitious?) 8 hours for that day. It is horrible for attorney morale and I'm not sure that firm management has a grasp on the way this sort of micromanagement of supposed professionals really alienates the younger generations.

I'm not sure what the right answer is. The California Lawyer article posits that one thing firms could do to retain gen x and gen y female attorneys is to set up real flex hours or part time schedules that are still partnership track and actually promote part-timers to partner. Under the current model though, that is really unlikely to happen. So instead, many of us will walk away. And the baby boomer partners who worked their way up with 1600 billable hour requirements and a more determined work ethic may never understand why they cannot retain younger generation associates who are being asked to bill 2100 hours per year and whose main priority in a healthy balance between work and personal life.

The last paragraph of the article nails it:

"It takes the baby boomers saying we don't have all the answers," says Arin N. Reeves, founder of the Athens Group based in Chicago, which studies generational issues in law firms. "You can't hold on to the way it's always been. If you want to hire people of the younger generation, you'll have to change the institution."

The Cat Whisperer

Mike and I have been watching a lot of The Dog Whisperer on the National Geographic Channel (best channel ever!). I know his techniques are a bit controversial, but I think that for the most part Cesar has it right about dogs being pack animals and needing a leader to follow. We sort of started wondering what would happen if we tried applying (some of) his techniques to training Biggs.

First a couple of things about Biggs. He is a black cat, 12 years old or so, and pretty set in his ways. He doesn't make friendly with pretty much anybody (animals, people, plants, etc.). Other than Mike and, to a lesser extent, me. It is fairly clear from our interactions that he is still asserting that he is dominant over me. I think he has accepted that he is not dominant to Mike.

The thing that has driven us crazy of late is that he likes to go walk on the kitchen counters during and after Mike and I eat. I think he is showing that he can do something that we don't like and that he intentionally does it while we are eating to prove a point.

So the other evening, we decided to set the boundary and enforce it. Edge of the kitchen. The fact that his water (and snacks, but not main food dish) are located at the edge of the kitchen makes the task more difficult, but why move those things when it is so much more interesting to have to work around that problem?? So for one entire night, every time he headed for the kitchen or a counter leading to the kitchen, Mike or I got up, reprimanded and removed him from the area. It seemed to be all we could do. A constant effort for the whole night.

He got mad at us. Primarily at me, because I was the more vigilant one, dishing out my own brand of Texas-style justice*. And because he is pretty sure that he outranks me. Over the course of the evening, I think that he shed an entire coat of fur. Primarily on my sweater. He also made some pretty angry screeching noises. The kind which should not be made by any living creature at any time (possible exception: when being slaughtered).

At the end of the night, I think we had an understanding. Even for part of the next day, he seemed a bit more hesitant to run in and jump up. I actually think that if (1) Mike and I took a consistent approach and (2) we had the energy to devote to this effort and the vigilance to catch him every time he did it in our presence for a few weeks, we could quite possibly train him not to do it (when we are around). However, neither (1) nor (2) seems particularly probable on its own, much less both (1) and (2) at the same time.

So enjoy the counters, my non-pack animal, dominant pet. Dammit.




*I hope that this is a show slogan that I picked up somewhere, because otherwise I am a bit (more) concerned (than usual) for my sanity.

People Suck

I saw a piece on the Today show this morning about burnout. In case you couldn't tell already from reading my blog, I have a severe case of burnout. Coupled with there-has-to-be-something-better-than-this-itis.

So today, as I sit in my office while seemingly the rest of the world frolics away on winter break, I have had two separate conversations that threaten to send me past the tipping point. I'm not sure exactly what happens when burnout passes the tipping point, but I think it involves me being unable to dislodge myself from my couch for at least six months and the consumption of way, way too many bags of crunchy Cheetos.

1. A lawyer for a seller in a deal where my client is financing the acquistion called my boss. Twice. Within a short period of time. My boss is playing golf today and asked me to call this guy back, since I'm the one running the deal, producing documents, etc. This lawyer (a name partner in a 3 attorney office in Ventura county! big shot!) was on the phone when I returned his call. When he called me back and I told him that my boss was not available, he asked me (in a very condescending tone) whether I have any ability to make decisions or not. Apparently it is not worth his very valuable time to have to discuss document provisions with a lowly associate (only 9 years out of law school!). That was a wonderful call. He is exactly the type of person for whom the practice of law was created. I look forward to checking for the ", Esq." at the end of all of his future correspondence on this matter.

2. The apartment manager for our complex sent an e-mail to me today asking for payment of the outstanding amounts. I'll share with you the correspondence that followed (read from the bottom up):

From: Leila Sent: Tuesday, December 26, 2006 2:31 PMTo: [name redacted] RE: Balance Due At [name of complex redacted]

We are not paying a fee. Period. You should reverse it. We will get the key back to you as soon as there is an opportunity when the office is open and one of us is home.

I'm not sure what sort of customer service you think it is to charge people a fee instead of asking for the key back in the first place, but I'm pretty sure that we have paid enough rent to [name of complex redacted] over the last two years to warrant better treatment than that.

If you would like to discuss this, you can call me at [phone number redacted].

-----Original Message-----From: [name redacted] Sent: Tuesday, December 26, 2006 2:03 PMTo: Leila Subject: RE: Balance Due At [name of complex redacted]

I will reverse the fee once we have the key.

-----Original Message-----From: Leila Sent: Tuesday, December 26, 2006 1:45 PMTo: [name redacted] Subject: RE: Balance Due At [name of complex redacted]

Please reverse the charge now. We will not pay a $75 lock change fee and there is no reason to change our locks.

-----Original Message-----From: [name redacted] Sent: Tuesday, December 26, 2006 1:44 PMTo: Leila Subject: RE: Balance Due At [name of complex redacted]

Please return the key no later than tomorrow and I will reverse the charge.
Thanks!

-----Original Message-----From: Leila Sent: Tuesday, December 26, 2006 1:40 PMTo: [name redacted] Subject: RE: Balance Due At [name of complex redacted]

We have an extra key from when I was locked out earlier this month. We will return it to the office this week. We will not pay a $75 lock change fee.

-----Original Message-----From: [name redacted] Sent: Tuesday, December 26, 2006 1:34 PMTo: Leila Subject: RE: Balance Due At [name of complex redacted]

Did you check out a key and not return it?

-----Original Message-----From: Leila Sent: Tuesday, December 26, 2006 1:31 PMTo: [name redacted] Subject: RE: Balance Due At [name of complex redacted]

We did not have our locks changed.

-----Original Message-----From: [name redacted] Sent: Tuesday, December 26, 2006 1:26 PMTo: Leila Subject: RE: Balance Due At [name of complex redacted]
Leila-

The balance is $75.00 due to a lock change. The monthly invoices are printed out of state and mailed. You probably didn't have an amount on your statement due to a new lease beginning. January should be correct - please let me know if it isn't.

Thank you!

-----Original Message-----From: Leila Sent: Tuesday, December 26, 2006 1:23 PMTo: [name redacted] Subject: RE: Balance Due At [name of complex redacted]

What is the balance for and what is the amount of the balance? [Name of complex redacted] has not delivered us a statement of the amount of our rent (and other charges) in at least two months. Both the November and December statements failed to include the amount due, so I'm not sure how you expect us to know what amount is outstanding. When will this situation be rectified? We have called the office a couple of times already to try to clear this up.

If there is an amount outstanding today, we'd just like to include it with our upcoming rent payment at the end of the week instead of making an extra payment in advance.

Thanks.
Leila

-----Original Message-----From: [name redacted] Sent: Tuesday, December 26, 2006 1:17 PM Subject: Balance Due At [name of complex redacted]

Dear Residents-
Hope you are having a wonderful holiday season! This is a friendly reminder that you currently have a balance on your account. You have several easy ways to make the payment: drop off a check/money order, pay online at www.aimco.com, or call us and we can run your credit card over the phone.
Please make payment no later than tomorrow, Wednesday December 27th.
Thank you!
[name redacted]

--------------------------------------------[end of e-mail messages]

Could you make out the implied "Listen, bitch," at the beginning of my last message, or should I have spelled it out for her? Happy fucking holidays.

Things I Would Rather Be Doing

I am the only person on my entire hall at work this morning. I have two deals that are still paying lip service to closing this year. It is hard to imagine anything more enjoyable than sitting at work by myself the morning after Christmas. Oh, wait, no it isn't:

• Watching the cat sleep. He does it so well. It is practically an art form.
• Practicing my swing with my new driver. I've already hit it off the ground once now (twice if you count my monster drive in Hawaii this fall with a rental set).
• Watching the mish mosh of paint dry at my apartment building. They are painting the halls and there is no rhyme or reason as to the color selections. Other than the fact that they have all the colors in their store room (we have a couple of them in our apartment because they offer a free wall per room painted other than white). Our building is spanish orange. They've been painting formerly white walls (and tan doors) various colors of beige, light green and olive green. And they just added brown and orange carpet. It is confusing. I wonder if they have a plan?
• Playing internet poker. I've been busted out with pocket kings three tourneys in a row now. The first two times, it was KK vs. AA, so pretty understandable that I would be history, but yesterday pocket fives all in pre-flop busted my kings. Not cool.
• Eating my way through the abundant groceries we bought over the weekend. Don't shop hungry.
• Watching the latest crop of game shows (Deal Or No Deal, 1 vs. 100, Identity) repeatedly to determine exactly how much of each show is scripted. And to figure out where they find those contestants. It must be like the selection process for The Price Is Right on steroids. Do they pre-screen them for jumping and screaming abilities? I really think there is a master's thesis hidden in there somewhere.

Patent This

Hey, Starbucks, what makes your "hey! let's use thicker cardboard and include that corrugated layer" idea when it comes to to-go cup sleeves a patentable idea? Hey, Coffee Bean, couldn't you at least try to come up with something that works better than a thin, glossy layer of poster board?

I'm no IP lawyer, but it seems to me that the only loser here is the consuming public. I seriously doubt that Coffee Bean is losing business over its crappy cup sleeves, so instead my guess is that the result is a bunch of people walking around with way WAY too hot hands (and/or the waste of oodles of Coffee Bean napkins, taken solely to wrap the cup for holding purposes). Heartbreaking.

Ok, that was overdramatic.